Running Chronicles: Volume 2

The other day, we had a volunteer meeting/Super Bowl Party with all the volunteers who live in my same department, Rio San Juan. As an ice breaker, we had to go around and write "the thing that is helping us get through our service" and then other people had to guess who had written what. The first thing that came to my mind was "running." Particularly in the last few weeks, running has really emerged as my #1 way of dealing with the stress of adjusting to Nicaragua, and particularly, dealing with the stress that living in a society where machismo is a latent part of daily life (As opposed to say, the United States, where it's less in your face, most of the time, but we've still got a long road to walk in terms of gender equality.)

This may seem counter-intuitive, since I've mentioned that running attracts its fair share of unwanted attention, ranging from catcalls (piropos) to awkwardly getting checked out to just strange looks. At first these things really did bother me, until I realized I could harness this discomfort to fuel my running. Hence, the machismo to endorphins cycle was born.

While piropos are at their root, a form of male control over the female body, I came to the realization that when I am running, no- one has more control over my body than I do. I am physically strong and powerful in ways that most cultures' gender roles cannot accommodate  And so as you smirk and me and honk your horn, I laugh and keep going. My mantra, sometimes whispered to myself, sometimes screamed out in the humid air after the offending car/motorcycle has past: "I AM MY OWN PERSON. I AM MY OWN PERSON. YOU CANNOT CONTROL ME."

Creepiness? A machista comment? Yet another person asking if I have a boyfriend? Another money taker on the bus obsessing over my eyes? Simply the psychological equivalent of calories to drive my down the road, to endorphins to happiness, to strength, to well- being, to the calm that will allow me to get through the day.