Problem Solving

piropo- catcall, flirty remark. Generally obnoxious and cliqued at the same time.
munequita- "little doll"- Who you calling little doll? MY UMBRELLA AND I WILL SHOW YOU WHO'S A FRAGILE LITTLE DOLL....

At this point, now that I've lived in San Miguelito for nearly a year, a lot of people know who I am, or what I'm doing here. It's more common, most days, for me to hear "Adios Teacher" or "Adios Emily" than "Adios mamacita, munequita, que guapa etc. bla bla bla". It still occasionally happens, especially when I leave "urban" San Miguel, and when I go to the dock, because the soldiers stationed there don't have a whole lot to do except try and pick up women, while holding rifles no less. Compared to Chile, and other places I've been, comparatively the piropos are not as bad in Nicaragua because they are rarely sexually explicit, but it's still obnoxious. Usually what's most common is that men will hiss at me, trying to get my attention so that they can piropo me. I've become highly talented at ignoring this. It's kind of actually a fun game, because they become more frustrated the more I ignore them. I like making their attempts to express dominance over me (although I'm sure they would not couch it in those terms) end in their frustration.

Despite people knowing that I'm a profe, there are still certain corners in town where I generally can expect to hear something. There's one corner in particular where two boys usually hiss at me at the very least. They're young, but they don't study. As far as I can tell, they don't do much of anything, except sit on the street corner.  Usually, I ignore them, because they are young and rather pathetic, and I don't really like confrontation enough to take the time to have a real conversation with them about their behavior.
However, things went down a little bit differently about a week ago. I was having an awful day. I'd woken up at around 2 am because my neighbor had slaughtered a pig and was cooking chicharones and generally being very loud, and I hadn't been able to fall back to sleep. After a stupid day of incredibly interrupted teaching, I went to the health center, and spent a frustrating two hours trying to figure out a medical problem.

As I passed the corner on my way home, those little pain- in - the asses started with the hissing. HISSSSS. HISSSSSSSSSSS. I ignored them. HHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I had walked past them, when suddenly, I snapped. Compelled as if by some demonic force, I spun around, gesticulating wildly with my umbrella, and began to scream at the top of my lungs as if those poor unlucky souls represented every man who has or ever will wrong me. "WHY DO YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME I WALK BY HERE?!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!!! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR WOMEN??!! GAHHHHHHHHH (frustration and scorn).

Luckily, I didn't use any curse words, because everyone on the block came out of their houses to watch the gringa utterly lose her cool. The kids didn't make eye contact with me as a I raged, and when I turned my heel and stomped away, they laughed, but very nervously.

While this was obviously a stupid, reactive and rather disproportionate way to deal with the problem, it seems to have been effective, at least so far. Hopefully, their grandmother, who's Catholic and who I occasionally buy vegetables from, said something to them. Or maybe it's just chance. But I'm just maybe hoping that the word has gotten out through the town's highly efficient gossip machine that I will yell at you (or maim you with my umbrella, given the way rumors work) if you piropo me.