Straight edge

"I went to bed every night at 8pm and woke up at 5. You probably will too. "

I remember being terrified hearing these words from a former PCV right before I was supposed to start service. Straight out of college, I was still a night owl, who felt most alive after 7 pm and wasn't a huge fan of mornings. However,  I shouldn't have doubted my adaptability and should have taken these words as a prophecy: I am now officially as boring as I feared I would be, or perhaps even more so than I expected.

My second year of Peace Corps service has worn me out physically, with illness and heat and bratty children galore. It's sort of a miracle if I make it to 9 pm, and not at all surprising if I am passed out by 7. Especially now that I can't count on my favorite addiction, coffee, to fuel me through the day, due to my gastritis.* And the occasional beer to unwind after a long week? Forget about it.

I'm having a harder time psychologically dealing with the lack of coffee and alcohol in my life than I would like to admit. Mostly because the Peace Corps community por lo general connects over these two substances when we meet up. I feel less vibrant and fun. More importantly, while I'm not really physical dependent on either**, I feel more comfortable with these little vices in my life, in the sense that they are psychologically comforting during the ups and downs of Peace Corps and in the sense that it gives me a bit of a buffer against being a complete goody two shoes nerd.

On the other hand, it's kind of screwed up how I feel that these two things are such a big part of my life, considering I've only really been a hard core coffee addict for about 6 years and a drinker for even less time. I´m forced to connect to people without being able to rely on social lubricants. Every introvert's worst nightmare, but Peace Corps has made me far bolder than I used to be and I can handle it. It's a freedom I didn't want, but is probably for the best.

*Gastritis is probably one of the most common sicknesses here. My friend Chelsea joked that it is a sign of how "Nicaraguan" I am now.

**Mmm that's probably a lie in relation to caffeine.